Paulo Bagunça e a Tropa Maldita - Olhos Risonhos
I kill myself over and over,
Ego has been slayed and annihilated.
I have crossed the border, and traversed the depths of insanity.
I have died hundreds of times.
For awhile it feels better. I begin to work through the trauma.
But ultimately it never matters.
I can be fine, and high functioning for as long as I am alone.
Every time I engage in an intimate relationship, or I bond intimately with another, I am reborn and I lose myself all over again. Hello three years old. Goodbye twenty years of life experience. I lose my sense of self. I become excessively dependent on another person to survive. I lose my identity. I lose my will to live, by allowing the person I am with to dictate and predominate my thoughts and feelings.
I sacrifice my entire life to make them happy, although I don’t want to be like this, and I know it is unhealthy, my desire to be loved and needed and wanted is that immense, I am willing to throw away everything I work for in order to achieve a semblance of fulfillment.
And knowing the other person never feels the same as I do? That is what kills me the most.
There is no respite.
They say balance and moderation is the key to a healthy life, but when one is unable to identify the middle ground or a dichotomy, one is essentially perpetually fucked.
insistir na dolência no agravo de não criar imagens vacilantes de dizer tudo ao contrário do que não se pensa pular a cerca para aumentar a distância binária entre um terreno e o outro: estava fora agora estou
insistir na mercadoria como via que salva
insistir na passagem que corta a montanha
insistir na extensão infinita que atravessa os campos quando tudo na memória se resume ao regresso e que não podendo regressar deve o viajante cumprir o seu destino em linha recta: estava longe agora estou
I can’t tell my woman from the man
She is dressed in the same pollution
Her mind is confused with confusion
To my problem seems there’s never never no solution
I’ve become a night-life raver
And I’m begging you please don’t let me down
Night-life ravers, night-life raver
Please, please don’t let me down